Posted by BigDork on 09-27-2002 at12:52:
berger just showed up at my house! (copied from the DADL)
i'm a bit shaken, folks. he knocked on the door (with his head) and when i let him in, this is what happened:
tim: berger! what're you doing here? are you ok?
berger: you listen to me, chandler! you know i didn't send that e-mail to you! you know i'd never refer to you as "m'lord." you know i don't bark at people, you know i don't strap air-fresheners to my face and you know i'm not insane!
tim: berger. i'm over here. you're talking to the refrigerator.
berger: (opening the refrigerator, pretending to look for something.) er...i know that, you moron!
tim: berger, look, man i--
berger: say, you don't have any Windex, do you?
tim: what?
berger
hollering) TROUSERS!...MUSTARD!!tim: what?!
berger started coming towards me.
tim: no! no, berger! down! down, boy! down, berger, down boy! get down!
berger: yeah! right on! get dowwwwwwnn!! hey, what's that?
berger picked up one of my daughter's stuffed animals (with his teeth) and started growling and whipping his head around.
tim: hey, give me that!
i tried to wrestle it out of his mouth but berger tugged and growled louder and when he opened his mouth to bark, i snatched the stuffed animal from his teeth.
tim: berger, stop! let me find you a bone or a piece of leather or something.
berger then raised his right leg towards the back of his neck (he's remarkably limber for an out-of-shape middle-aged guy) and started scratching the back of his neck with his right foot at lightning speed.
berger: RARF!!
at that point, i was just simply having trouble processing anything i had just seen. i put a leash on him, walked him outside, and got him to lie down. i went to get some water for him and when i came back, he was gone. be on the lookout, folks. he seems to be getting worse and there's no telling where he's headed.
tim c
