Daniel Amos Message Board | Print: Did you people know?

Posted by Berger Roy Al on 07-10-2003 at11:17:

Did you people know?

Did you people know that Berger has nerver been married? I would like to be.

But when I look in the mirror, I'm a little concernered.

I'm 43 years old, 40 pounds overweight, and nearly completely bald. Over the years, I've developed a severe over-bite while at the same time, somehow, developing an exactly equally severe under-bite.

I recently tripped and fell into a nest of chiggers, so I have red welts all over my face. I fell off a bridge face-first and chipped all my front teeth. I'm given to fits of sudden lockjaw and gasping for air.

I've developed a minor hunchback, lower back pain, gouty arthritis of the knee, rickets, shingles, "sweet potato arm," strained hemicula, limbago of the limbago, swollen medulla oblongato, hoof in mouth, mogo-on-the-go-go, and other tropical diseases.

I'm an unemployed bass player, I live in a trailor, I'm prone to barking fits and an undeniable urge to do a specific series of jumping jacks in public, I suffer from spontaneous night-time grunting, flourescent light fainting, paranoic fear of cold mountain air, chronic tree sadness, and periodic, systematic stoplight embarrassment syndrome.

Do you think anyone would still go out with me?

Posted by JR88 on 07-10-2003 at11:21:

Shocked

Posted by Bones McCoy on 07-10-2003 at11:22:

BLAST you, Berger!

Get your pathetic self off the floor and get out there! Just because you're only good enough to play four strings instead of six shouldn't stop you from scoring! I know a bevy of salt babes that'd line UP for something like you!

One thing, though: Change your name. What kind of stupid-ass name is Berger, blast it?

Posted by Berger Roy Al on 07-10-2003 at11:24:

How about "Burger?"

Posted by Captain James T. Kirk on 07-10-2003 at11:25:

BONES!!!!!!!!!

DAmb you bones quit insulting people who are better than you Mad

Posted by mindgasket on 07-10-2003 at11:30:

I know of this hot chick that lives in a leper colony... maybe I could hook you up?

Posted by mindgasket on 07-10-2003 at11:31:

...actually, she's about 3/4 of a hot chick...

Posted by Squidzit on 07-10-2003 at11:31:

You now where there's a leper colony? Shocked

Posted by Bones McCoy on 07-10-2003 at11:33:

Jim, you monomaniacal megamating moron!

Who said I was better than Berger? I just hate it when good people put themselves down! It leaves less work for me!

Besides, I've seen those asinine Priceline commercials of yours, and you shouldn't be let near a ONE-string guitar, blast it!!!

Posted by mindgasket on 07-10-2003 at11:38:

[QUOTE But when I look in the mirror, I'm a little concernered.

Do you think anyone would still go out with me?
[/QUOTE]

Hey, the Minnesota BBQ group will have as a door prize a date with Berger!!

Posted by Squidzit on 07-10-2003 at11:39:

Then I ain't goin'. Red Face

Posted by ProdigalDog on 07-10-2003 at11:54:

What kind of life insurance do you have, berger? That's what the ladies are most interested in.

Posted by dennis on 07-10-2003 at11:55:

quote:

Originally posted by Berger Roy Al
Did you people know that Berger has nerver been married? Berger would like to be.

But when I look in the mirror, I'm a little concernered.

I'm 43 years old, 40 pounds overweight, and nearly completely bald. Over the years, I've developed a severe over-bite while at the same time, somehow, developing an exactly equally severe under-bite.

I recently tripped and fell into a nest of chiggers, so I have red welts all over my face. I fell off a bridge face-first and chipped all my front teeth. I'm given to fits of sudden lockjaw and gasping for air.

I've developed a minor hunchback, lower back pain, gouty arthritis of the knee, rickets, shingles, "sweet potato arm," strained hemicula, limbago of the limbago, swollen medulla oblongato, hoof in mouth, mogo-on-the-go-go, and other tropical diseases.

I'm an unemployed bass player, I live in a trailor, I'm prone to barking fits and an undeniable urge to do a specific series of jumping jacks in public, I suffer from spontaneous night-time grunting, flourescent light fainting, paranoic fear of cold mountain air, chronic tree sadness, and periodic, systematic stoplight embarrassment syndrome.

Do you think anyone would still go out with me?

Amy Grant???

Posted by dennis on 07-10-2003 at11:58:

quote:

Originally posted by Bones McCoy
Get your pathetic self off the floor and get out there! Just because you're only good enough to play four strings instead of six shouldn't stop you from scoring! I know a bevy of salt babes that'd line UP for something like you!

One thing, though: Change your name. What kind of stupid-ass name is Berger, blast it?

wow. harsh words! Shocked

Posted by jiminy on 07-10-2003 at12:00:

lay out the portfolio, Al

that draws em in like stink on..
well- you know, (you failed to mention Scatology in your synopsis)

don't they mention MN in that 'Wish they all could be Caledonia Girls?" song?

Try it- you'll like it.

Posted by Woggy on 07-10-2003 at12:19:

he sounds like my kinda guy.......

I'd go out with him.

Oh, let's talk about that insurance and portfolio first, mmmmkay?

Posted by Captain James T. Kirk on 07-10-2003 at13:04:

BONES!!!!!!!!!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Bones McCoy
Who said I was better than Berger? I just hate it when good people put themselves down! It leaves less work for me!

Besides, I've seen those asinine Priceline commercials of yours, and you shouldn't be let near a ONE-string guitar, blast it!!!

You should really go to Priceline.com..........they pay me lots a money to say that. Big Grin

what are you doing??? Loser Mad