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Posted by bereal on 03-31-2004 at00:48:

 

quote:

Originally posted by Lost Canine quote: Just another shameless post. Aren't all of our postings this way??

Of course! Why wouldn't they be shameless. We are after all, the DAmbed!

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Posted by Mark on 03-31-2004 at20:56:

 

Shameless

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Posted by Mountain Fan on 04-01-2004 at23:51:

 

Shamelessly not dead yet

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Posted by bereal on 04-02-2004 at01:59:

 

I'm shamelessly near dead!
Night all!

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Posted by PuP on 04-02-2004 at05:09:

 

"It's dead, Jim."

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Posted by Mountain Fan on 04-02-2004 at11:56:

 

Still beatin' a dead horse?

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Posted by Mark on 04-02-2004 at18:48:

 

Grateful Dead

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Posted by bereal on 04-02-2004 at23:11:

 

Dead Heads

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Posted by PuP on 04-03-2004 at06:11:

 

From Monty Python's "Rock Notes":

"Dead Monkeys are to split up again, according to their manager, Lefty Goldblatt. They've been in the business now ten years, nine as other groups. Originally the Dead Salmon, they became for a while, Trout. Then Fried Trout, then Poached Trout In A White Wine Sauce, and finally, Herring. Splitting up for nearly a month, the re-formed as Red Herring, which became Dead Herring for a while, and then Dead Loss, which reflected the current state of the group. Splitting up again to get their heads together, they reformed a fortnight later as Heads Together, a tight little name which lasted them through a difficult period when their drummer was suspected of suffering from death. It turned out to be only a rumor and they became Dead Together, then Dead Gear, which lead to Dead Donkeys, Lead Donkeys, and the inevitable split up. After nearly ten days, they reformed again as Sole Manier, then Dead Sole, Rock Cod, Turbot, Haddock, White Baith, the Places, Fish, Bream, Mackerel, Salmon, Poached Salmon, Poached Salmon In A White Wine Sauce, Salmon-monia, and Helen Shapiro. This last name, their favorite, had to be dropped following an injunction and they split up again. When they reformed after a recordbreaking two days, they ditched the fishy references and became Dead Monkeys, a name which they stuck with for the rest of their careers. Now, a fortnight later, they've finally split up."

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Posted by Joey T. on 04-03-2004 at10:54:



this thread is dead......

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Posted by bereal on 04-03-2004 at22:41:

 

It was beginning to smell fishy around here!

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Posted by BigDork on 04-03-2004 at23:22:

 

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Posted by bereal on 04-03-2004 at23:58:

 

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Posted by PuP on 04-04-2004 at22:01:

 

Interviewer: An excerpt from Carl French's latest film. Carl, we are all a little mystified by your claim that your new film stars Marilyn Monroe...
French: It does, yes.
Interviewer: ...who died over ten years ago.
French: That's correct.
Interviewer: Are you lying?
French: No, no, it's just that she is very much in the public eye, at the moment.
Interviewer: Does she have a big part?
French: She is the star of the film.
Interviewer: And dead.
French: Well, we...we dug her up, and gave her a screen test - a mere formality, in her case - and..eh..
Interviewer: Can she still act?
French: Well, well, she..she still has this...this enourmous..eh..kind of..eh..indefineable...eh. No.
Interviewer: Was..eh..decomposition a problem?
French: We did have to put her in the fridge between takes.
Interviewer: What sort of things does she do in the film?
French: Well, we...we had her lying on beds, lying on floors, falling out off cupboards, scaring the children...
Interviewer: But surely miss Monroe was cremated.
French: Well...eh...we had to use a stand-in for some of the more visible shots.
Interviewer: Ah, another actress.
French: Dead actress. But Monroe was in shot the whole time.
Interviewer: How?
French: Oh, in..eh..in the ashtray, in the firegrate, in the vacuum cleaner...
Interviewer: So Marylin does not appear in the film?
French: Not as such.

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Posted by Mountain Fan on 04-05-2004 at00:00:

 

Just doing my little part to keep this thing going!

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Posted by Mark on 04-05-2004 at13:35:

 

Where's the AED?

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Posted by Mountain Fan on 04-05-2004 at21:23:

 

quote:

Originally posted by Mark Where's the AED?

Shock advised now!
Charging!
Stand clear!

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Posted by PuP on 04-06-2004 at22:27:

 

UNDERTAKER: Morning.
MAN: Good morning.
UNDERTAKER: What can I do for you, squire?
MAN: Well, I wonder if you can help me. You see, my mother has just died.
UNDERTAKER: Ah well, we can help you. We deal with stiffs.
MAN: What?
UNDERTAKER: Well, there's three things we can do with your mum. We can bury her, burn her, or dump her.
MAN: (shocked) Dump her?
UNDERTAKER: Dump her in the Thames.
MAN: What?
UNDERTAKER: Oh, did you like her?
MAN: Yes!
UNDERTAKER: oh well, we won't dump her then. Well, what do you think? We can bury her or burn her.
MAN: Well, which do you recommend?
UNDERTAKER: Well, they're both nasty. If we burn her she gets stuffed in the flames... crackle crackle crackle... which is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead, but quick. And then we give you a handful of ashes, which you can pretend were hers.
MAN: Oh.
UNDERTAKER: Or if we bury her, she gets eaten up by lots of weevils and nasty maggots, which as I said before is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead.
MAN: I see. Well, she's definitely dead.
UNDERTAKER: Where is she?
MAN: She's in this sack.
UNDERTAKER: Can I have a look? She looks quite young.
MAN: Yes, yes, she was.
UNDERTAKER (calling): Fred!
FRED'S VOICE: Yeah?
UNDERTAKER: I think we've got an eater.
MAN: What?!?
FRED (peeking head round the door): Right, I'll get the oven on.(goes off)
MAN: Er, excuse me, um.... are you suggesting eating my mother?
UNDERTAKER: Er... yeah, not raw. Cooked.
MAN: What?
UNDERTAKER: Yes, roasted with a few french fries, broccoli, horseradish sauce...
MAN: Well, I do feel a bit peckish.
UNDERTAKER: Great!
MAN: Can we have some parsnips?
UNDERTAKER (calling): Fred... get some parsnips.
MAN: I really don't think I should.
UNDERTAKER: Look, tell you what.... we'll eat her, if you feel a bit guilty about it after, we can dig a grave and you can throw up in it.

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Posted by bereal on 04-06-2004 at23:54:

 

Eeeeeew!





And double eeeeeew!




PuP, is it distemper?

Or rabies?

Better get to the vet quick so you can get well before you end up becoming part of one of your dead stories!

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Posted by Mountain Fan on 04-08-2004 at11:20:

 

Still kickin' against the goads.