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Rippin' Richie Rippin' Richie is a male
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Registration Date: 07-22-2008
Posts: 12
Location: Greer, SC

Fight Satan with your cell phone! Reply to this Post Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Posts Report Post to a Moderator       Go to the top of this page

This is a real press release. It sounds like a Dr Taylor skit.

quote:
Christian Man Uses Cell Phones to Evangelize NEW YORK, Dec. 3 /Christian Newswire/ -- While waiting in line at the bank yesterday, all around were cell phones ringing non-inspiration, meaningless noise. It made me think that Jesus would not like these lyrics that seem not appropriate to be broadcast by cell phones, especially at the Christian credit union.

It seems that all around us now a days, there are cell phones ringing ungodly, intrusive, or satanic ring tones that misdirect people who are in need of hope and faith? Just look around and one can come to the realization that, Satan is taking over the world using cell phones. With that in mind, we must fight fire with fire, and use the cell phones as modern Christian armor. A cell phone in the hands of a good Christian is a powerful weapon against Satan.

Knowing that the spiritual battle has now come down to using the cell phone to spread God's word, it made perfect sense that the next stop after the bank was the Sprint store. It was time to upgrade to a high-bred cell phone. After testing a bunch of phones, the Motorola V950 was definitely the best sounding. Now it was time to go home and start searching the web for some Christian and Christmas ring tones. Right away I landed the mother load of quality Christian ringers, www.ChristmasRingtunes.com.

After reading some news articles about www.ChristmasRingtunes.com, it was obvious that this is a honest company, working for Jesus, and dedicated to the Emmanuel Orphanages of Tijuana. A nice feature is that there is no subscription required, and you can download one ringtune at a time with no other commitments. A really positive feature is the profits from www.ChristmasRingtunes.com goes into the Emmanuel Orphanage fence building fund. Also it is free to preview over fifty great Christian and Christmas ring tunes. After researching the Emmanuel Orphanage, I found some information on them. They are a non-denominational Christian ministry that provides homes, education, medical care and love to nearly 150 children rescued from the streets of Tijuana. It houses young boys from age 5 - 18 years of age. In 2006, Emmanuel Orphanage opened the first facility for homeless and sexually exploited girls. When a person downloads from www.ChristmasRingtunes.com, the Orphanage is one step closer to having a fence that is desperately needed to protect the children.
01-22-2009 14:54 Rippin' Richie is offline Homepage of Rippin' Richie Search for Posts by Rippin' Richie Add Rippin' Richie to your Buddy List
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Platyhelminth


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Registration Date: 01-08-2003
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Location: the biggest fans are often the biggest critics ... sometimes taken as complaining ... get used to it. :P - mountain fan

RE: Fight Satan with your cell phone! Reply to this Post Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Posts Report Post to a Moderator       Go to the top of this page

i prefer spamming for Jesus! Happy



























































Roll Eyes Frown

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01-22-2009 15:00 joey is offline Send an Email to joey Homepage of joey Search for Posts by joey Add joey to your Buddy List AIM Screen Name of joey: beatmenace777 YIM Account Name of joey: joey_t_2005 View the MSN Profile for joey
servantsteve servantsteve is a male
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Take your cell phone to the ungodly and let Jesus ring!

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01-23-2009 07:49 servantsteve is offline Homepage of servantsteve Search for Posts by servantsteve Add servantsteve to your Buddy List Add servantsteve to your Contact List AIM Screen Name of servantsteve: no YIM Account Name of servantsteve: yes
jiminy
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this is an actual congregational hymn I endured hearing while in M.S.R. (Maximun Security Religion)
After the first hearing- I refused to sing it aloud.
We all have our place where the wall DOES come up..

so - this idea aint new- this was written in 1919

the Royal Telephone

Central’s never “busy,” always on the line;
You may hear from heaven almost any time;
’Tis a royal service, free for one and all;
When you get in trouble, give this royal line a call.

Refrain:
Telephone to glory, oh, what joy divine!
I can feel the current moving on the line,
Built by God the Father for His loved and own,
We may talk to Jesus through this royal telephone.

There will be no charges, telephone is free,
It was built for service, just for you and me;
There will be no waiting on this royal line,
Telephone to glory always answers just in time.

Fail to get the answer, Satan’s crossed your wire,
By some strong delusion, or some base desire;
Take away obstructions, God is on the throne,
And you’ll get your answer through this royal telephone.

If your line is “grounded,” and connection true
Has been lost with Jesus, tell you what to do:
Prayer and faith and promise mend the broken wire,
Till your soul is burning with the Pentecostal fire.

Carnal combinations cannot get control
Of this line to glory, anchored in the soul;
Storm and trial cannot disconnect the line,
Held in constant keeping by the Father’s hand divine.

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01-23-2009 08:44 jiminy is offline Send an Email to jiminy Search for Posts by jiminy Add jiminy to your Buddy List
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Location: the biggest fans are often the biggest critics ... sometimes taken as complaining ... get used to it. :P - mountain fan

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my cellphone was left in my jeans pocket in the wash last nigt... Crying
how can i fight satan? Confused Frown
i am praying over it that Jesus will raise it from the dead! Big Grin
or hopefully it just needs to dry out...........

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01-23-2009 08:58 joey is offline Send an Email to joey Homepage of joey Search for Posts by joey Add joey to your Buddy List AIM Screen Name of joey: beatmenace777 YIM Account Name of joey: joey_t_2005 View the MSN Profile for joey
servantsteve servantsteve is a male
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Perhaps your phone needs a new body and a new soul!
If so, you'll have to sign a new contract

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01-23-2009 09:37 servantsteve is offline Homepage of servantsteve Search for Posts by servantsteve Add servantsteve to your Buddy List Add servantsteve to your Contact List AIM Screen Name of servantsteve: no YIM Account Name of servantsteve: yes
Ritchie_az Ritchie_az is a male
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You know He calls you long distance
No doubt He's dropped you a line



On the line to you, on the line to you
Dropping a line to you, especially for you


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01-23-2009 09:57 Ritchie_az is offline Search for Posts by Ritchie_az Add Ritchie_az to your Buddy List
servantsteve servantsteve is a male
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Excuse me, Excuse me, Excuse me!

We are making fun of the telephone symbolism, here! You cannot quote Terry in this way!!!!!! Show some reverence for DA MAN!!!

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This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by servantsteve: 01-23-2009 12:42.

01-23-2009 10:05 servantsteve is offline Homepage of servantsteve Search for Posts by servantsteve Add servantsteve to your Buddy List Add servantsteve to your Contact List AIM Screen Name of servantsteve: no YIM Account Name of servantsteve: yes
Ron E Ron E is a male
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I took a swim with a cell phone... it never recovered... though maybe I didn't know cpr well enough.

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01-23-2009 11:09 Ron E is offline Send an Email to Ron E Homepage of Ron E Search for Posts by Ron E Add Ron E to your Buddy List AIM Screen Name of Ron E: Nearly as funny as the above! YIM Account Name of Ron E: Ow my ribs
MarkyMark77
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quote:
my cellphone was left in my jeans pocket in the wash last nigt...


Satan will be running roughshod all over you, my friend.

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DwDunphy DwDunphy is a male
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I have no cell phone. I plan to never have a cellphone. Is this a darkness of the soul?
01-23-2009 12:41 DwDunphy is offline Send an Email to DwDunphy Homepage of DwDunphy Search for Posts by DwDunphy Add DwDunphy to your Buddy List AIM Screen Name of DwDunphy: dunphyetc
joey joey is a male
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Location: the biggest fans are often the biggest critics ... sometimes taken as complaining ... get used to it. :P - mountain fan

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quote:
Originally posted by servantsteve
Perhaps your phone needs a new body and a new soul!
If so, you'll have to sign a new contract


i'm still under a contract! Crying
of course i didn't pay extra for the extended warranty............ Baby

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servantsteve servantsteve is a male
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Sucks to be you
Maybe you can sue someone, or everyone! Who made the washing machine- they're going down! They didn't warn you! What about the water? It wasn't properly purified! And the cell phone? It should have been watertight! This is definately someone's fault, but not your fault! Why were your jean's pockets big enough for a cell phone? That's just not right! Why didn't your cell phone beep to let you know you going to make a big mistake. And what about the audioris? I'm sure they had something to do with this! Did your parents teach you proper cell phone usage? Did your wife wash your jeans? Whayt kind of soap was used? Society demands we wash our clothes to "fit in" that's disenfranchisement! Get your bailout, biy, you are a bona fide victim, here!!!!

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01-23-2009 13:04 servantsteve is offline Homepage of servantsteve Search for Posts by servantsteve Add servantsteve to your Buddy List Add servantsteve to your Contact List AIM Screen Name of servantsteve: no YIM Account Name of servantsteve: yes
jiminy
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quote:
Originally posted by joey
my cellphone was left in my jeans pocket in the wash last nigt... Crying
how can i fight satan? Confused Frown
i am praying over it that Jesus will raise it from the dead! Big Grin
or hopefully it just needs to dry out...........



my camera faced the same fate last weekend- (still in a denim tote)

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theres nothing to EVER put here that will please everyone-let alone anyone.
01-23-2009 13:21 jiminy is offline Send an Email to jiminy Search for Posts by jiminy Add jiminy to your Buddy List
servantsteve servantsteve is a male
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The common thread is denim! Denim is of the debil!

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01-23-2009 13:24 servantsteve is offline Homepage of servantsteve Search for Posts by servantsteve Add servantsteve to your Buddy List Add servantsteve to your Contact List AIM Screen Name of servantsteve: no YIM Account Name of servantsteve: yes
Mountain Fan Mountain Fan is a male
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a true christian would not have loud ringtones of any type in public because they would be considerate of others around them and leave it on vibrate Smile

i make the habit now of leaving it on vibrate if i have it on my belt and putting the ring back on when i take it off at night. my favorite was my last phone that would do "vibe & ring" where it did 4 rings on vibe BEFORE ringing any. that way, it was more forgiving of us forgetful folks - we could silence it quickly if in a place where a ringer would be annoying and the call could not be taken OR it would start ringing so that you could hear it if you had already taken it off your person.

i guess i just don't get ringtones all that much - if you wanna hear a song, why not listen to some music? to me, it is more of a way to show-off to others instead of using it as a tool. heck, our phones now have built-in MP3 players. Tongue

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01-23-2009 13:31 Mountain Fan is offline Send an Email to Mountain Fan Search for Posts by Mountain Fan Add Mountain Fan to your Buddy List
servantsteve servantsteve is a male
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quote:
Originally posted by Mountain Fan
a true christian would not have loud ringtones of any type in public because they would be considerate of others around them and leave it on vibrate Smile

i make the habit now of leaving it on vibrate if i have it on my belt and putting the ring back on when i take it off at night. my favorite was my last phone that would do "vibe & ring" where it did 4 rings on vibe BEFORE ringing any. that way, it was more forgiving of us forgetful folks - we could silence it quickly if in a place where a ringer would be annoying and the call could not be taken OR it would start ringing so that you could hear it if you had already taken it off your person.

i guess i just don't get ringtones all that much - if you wanna hear a song, why not listen to some music? to me, it is more of a way to show-off to others instead of using it as a tool. heck, our phones now have built-in MP3 players. Tongue
You are a true Christian. How might we all be saved? Please post on the Lost thread.

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01-23-2009 13:34 servantsteve is offline Homepage of servantsteve Search for Posts by servantsteve Add servantsteve to your Buddy List Add servantsteve to your Contact List AIM Screen Name of servantsteve: no YIM Account Name of servantsteve: yes
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quote:
Originally posted by servantsteve
quote:
Originally posted by Mountain Fan
a true christian would not have loud ringtones of any type in public because they would be considerate of others around them and leave it on vibrate Smile

i make the habit now of leaving it on vibrate if i have it on my belt and putting the ring back on when i take it off at night. my favorite was my last phone that would do "vibe & ring" where it did 4 rings on vibe BEFORE ringing any. that way, it was more forgiving of us forgetful folks - we could silence it quickly if in a place where a ringer would be annoying and the call could not be taken OR it would start ringing so that you could hear it if you had already taken it off your person.

i guess i just don't get ringtones all that much - if you wanna hear a song, why not listen to some music? to me, it is more of a way to show-off to others instead of using it as a tool. heck, our phones now have built-in MP3 players. Tongue
You are a true Christian. How might we all be saved? Please post on the Lost thread.


drink 2 gallons of washwater with tide and clorox Tongue Big Grin

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01-23-2009 13:41 Mountain Fan is offline Send an Email to Mountain Fan Search for Posts by Mountain Fan Add Mountain Fan to your Buddy List
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quote:
Originally posted by Mountain Fan
i guess i just don't get ringtones all that much - if you wanna hear a song, why not listen to some music? to me, it is more of a way to show-off to others instead of using it as a tool. heck, our phones now have built-in MP3 players. Tongue


my guess is you never had a secret decoder ring as child, i'll pray for you... what am i saying i do not even own a cell phone... did i say that out loud?
why is that crowd standing outside my cube with the geeky guy in a dark blue frock coat standing in front? he's very frocky if you ask me.

as for things left in jeans i always found that putting them in the microwave dries them out pretty good... worked on our chihuahua after his bath too... seemed to mellow him out a little.

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This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by sondance: 01-23-2009 14:19.

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servantsteve servantsteve is a male
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Can you hear me now?

If you have gotten an electronic device wet, you should not try to turn it on until it has completely dried out. If no electricity is applied while it is wet, it probably won't be damaged. The electricians at the shipyard would take circuit cards and hose them down in the men's room once they were removed from the equipment. If they let them air dry a few days, they would work fine when reassembled.

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