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jlemarr777 jlemarr777 is a male
Dark Steamy Cabbage

Registration Date: 02-01-2006
Posts: 20

A DA related poem - The Beautiful Lady In the Blackberry Hat Reply to this Post Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Posts Report Post to a Moderator       Go to the top of this page

Hey guys,

If you don't know me, other than the quote from me (re: Midget, etc.) on the home page, it's because I tend to lurk more than post. I'm making an exception this time, since I have something DA-related to share.

I've been working on some new poetry for an upcoming compilation. I finished this piece the other day, and as I was reading over it, "Traps, Ensnares, Etc." popped into my mind. As I hummed along while reading, I couldn't think of a more appropriate title for this particular work. Perhaps Bella Donna inspired the work on some subconscious level.

Hope you enjoy.

J. Patrick Lemarr

*****************************************

The Beautiful Lady In The Blackberry Hat


Told, she did, her paramour

That all things lovely, right, and pure

Are due philosophy de jour

Fanaticism’s lure


Said, she did, its wicked grip

Could all archaic myths make slip

Then every shred of faith will strip

And bloody reason’s lip


Told, she did, her lover new

What good a deadened soul can do

To fools who steep in moral stew

On some forgotten pew


Said, she did, that God is dead

Slain by those of learned head

Who opted for His flesh instead

Of prayer and daily bread
01-26-2009 23:10 jlemarr777 is offline Search for Posts by jlemarr777 Add jlemarr777 to your Buddy List
Ron E Ron E is a male
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Registration Date: 03-12-2002
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Location: Central Ontario Canada

RE: A DA related poem - The Beautiful Lady In the Blackberry Hat Reply to this Post Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Posts Report Post to a Moderator       Go to the top of this page

Beautiful work. Thoughtful and insightful. Post more often!

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01-26-2009 23:12 Ron E is online Send an Email to Ron E Homepage of Ron E Search for Posts by Ron E Add Ron E to your Buddy List AIM Screen Name of Ron E: Nearly as funny as the above! YIM Account Name of Ron E: Ow my ribs
Ritchie_az Ritchie_az is a male
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Great poem! Cool

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01-27-2009 00:36 Ritchie_az is offline Search for Posts by Ritchie_az Add Ritchie_az to your Buddy List
PuP
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Great poem. It seems odd to see a mention of a Blackberry without the accompanying reference to Obama but hey, it's your poem.

Tongue

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jiminy
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Registration Date: 11-16-2002
Posts: 9,494

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very nice- !

cadence is the key there- well "told"
and worth reading a number of times to absorb.

I dont write poetry , but music.
(well - which is poetry masked in distraction at times)

I put a lot of thought into my lyrical content( I know-for those who may have heard any-stop laughing!)- and feel that cadence can really define things-
look to Dr Love-who I find is a master at it.
and - agree! - post more oft Cool

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servantsteve servantsteve is a male
Disjasked Lerna


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Thanks for sharing your work. You write beautifully. I love it!

I confess I often have a problem deciphering poetry so I'm writing this to show how I have broken it down. Please let me know if I got it right.

Theme: I am interpreting this as a new believer's prayer to Christ in which the believer describes how modern thought has compromised simple faith.

quote:
I. Told, she did, her paramour
That all things lovely, right, and pure
Are due philosophy de jour
Fanaticism’s lure


This stanza- is it saying that the things we are supposed to think on are corrupted or compromised by modern philosopy and that fanaticism lures people into poor modern philosophy?
Phil 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things

quote:
II. Said, she did, its wicked grip
Could all archaic myths make slip
Then every shred of faith will strip
And bloody reason’s lip


Here, the same evil, modern philosophy makes old myths slip (displaces older philosophies? Are they myths, then or just seem to be?) This modern philosophy also strips faith and bloodies reason. I can see this illustrated in the modern philosophy of evolution which is widely espoused. This philosphy undermines faith in the creator and despite its claims, is neither logical nor reasonable as well.

quote:
III. Told, she did, her lover new
What good a deadened soul can do
To fools who steep in moral stew
On some forgotten pew


I'm not sure who the lover is, is it Christ? Here she is telling this lover that a soul that has listened to this modern philosophy becomes useless and dead. It may philosphize on morality and may even attend church, but it is faithless, useless, dead.

quote:
IV. Said, she did, that God is dead
Slain by those of learned head
Who opted for His flesh instead
Of prayer and daily bread


In this stanza, the final blow to Christianity is dealt when the wise ones espousing their modern philosophy have attacked Christ's message and gospel to the point that they have completely lost God in the mix. They should have kept to the simple gospel (daily bread) and submission to God (prayer).

This is not to say that God is dead at all, but that the modern philosophy has caused these wise fools to declare him to be dead in their reasoning.

Am I close or way off?

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This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by servantsteve: 01-28-2009 09:20.

01-28-2009 09:11 servantsteve is offline Homepage of servantsteve Search for Posts by servantsteve Add servantsteve to your Buddy List Add servantsteve to your Contact List AIM Screen Name of servantsteve: no YIM Account Name of servantsteve: yes
Ritchie_az Ritchie_az is a male
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Golly, all this time I thought it was about a hat.



Servantsteve, whether you got it right or not, I don't think I could read it without thinking of your analysis.

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01-28-2009 09:46 Ritchie_az is offline Search for Posts by Ritchie_az Add Ritchie_az to your Buddy List
jiminy
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Registration Date: 11-16-2002
Posts: 9,494

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well - thats the art of art
there is no more perfect interpretation then what you got out of it personally


I agree thats the tone I felt also., and saw each stranza similarily.

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jiMinY


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01-28-2009 10:04 jiminy is offline Send an Email to jiminy Search for Posts by jiminy Add jiminy to your Buddy List
jlemarr777 jlemarr777 is a male
Dark Steamy Cabbage

Registration Date: 02-01-2006
Posts: 20

Thread Starter Thread Started by jlemarr777
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quote:
Originally posted by servantsteve
Thanks for sharing your work. You write beautifully. I love it!

I confess I often have a problem deciphering poetry so I'm writing this to show how I have broken it down. Please let me know if I got it right.

Theme: I am interpreting this as a new believer's prayer to Christ in which the believer describes how modern thought has compromised simple faith.

quote:
I. Told, she did, her paramour
That all things lovely, right, and pure
Are due philosophy de jour
Fanaticism’s lure


This stanza- is it saying that the things we are supposed to think on are corrupted or compromised by modern philosopy and that fanaticism lures people into poor modern philosophy?
Phil 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things

quote:
II. Said, she did, its wicked grip
Could all archaic myths make slip
Then every shred of faith will strip
And bloody reason’s lip


Here, the same evil, modern philosophy makes old myths slip (displaces older philosophies? Are they myths, then or just seem to be?) This modern philosophy also strips faith and bloodies reason. I can see this illustrated in the modern philosophy of evolution which is widely espoused. This philosphy undermines faith in the creator and despite its claims, is neither logical nor reasonable as well.

quote:
III. Told, she did, her lover new
What good a deadened soul can do
To fools who steep in moral stew
On some forgotten pew


I'm not sure who the lover is, is it Christ? Here she is telling this lover that a soul that has listened to this modern philosophy becomes useless and dead. It may philosphize on morality and may even attend church, but it is faithless, useless, dead.

quote:
IV. Said, she did, that God is dead
Slain by those of learned head
Who opted for His flesh instead
Of prayer and daily bread


In this stanza, the final blow to Christianity is dealt when the wise ones espousing their modern philosophy have attacked Christ's message and gospel to the point that they have completely lost God in the mix. They should have kept to the simple gospel (daily bread) and submission to God (prayer).

This is not to say that God is dead at all, but that the modern philosophy has caused these wise fools to declare him to be dead in their reasoning.

Am I close or way off?


Sorry I was slow to respond. My Internet is down and I'm having to reply to all my emails, etc. From my phone.

You are, for the most part, correct. The only major difference between my intent and your perception is - the "lady" believes what she says. She is attempting to educate her lover (man) on the folly of faith while I, the writer, am using her words to show the folly of philosophy.
01-28-2009 10:46 jlemarr777 is offline Search for Posts by jlemarr777 Add jlemarr777 to your Buddy List
servantsteve servantsteve is a male
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Thanks! That clears up my tough spot that she says "God is dead" in the 4th stanza. Excellent poem- it really got me thinking. The meter and rhyme is perfect without sing song or triteness. I love it.

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01-28-2009 11:05 servantsteve is offline Homepage of servantsteve Search for Posts by servantsteve Add servantsteve to your Buddy List Add servantsteve to your Contact List AIM Screen Name of servantsteve: no YIM Account Name of servantsteve: yes
sondance sondance is a male
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nicely done, sir

always good to see a fresh spade in the soil

might there be a reciprocal exploration of the ageless Reply in the works?

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01-28-2009 15:11 sondance is offline Homepage of sondance Search for Posts by sondance Add sondance to your Buddy List
wakachiwaka wakachiwaka is a male
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I do so love good pottery - er, poetry. Cool
01-28-2009 17:32 wakachiwaka is online Search for Posts by wakachiwaka Add wakachiwaka to your Buddy List
jiminy
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I thought you just liked good pot Shocked

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jiMinY


theres nothing to EVER put here that will please everyone-let alone anyone.
01-29-2009 09:00 jiminy is offline Send an Email to jiminy Search for Posts by jiminy Add jiminy to your Buddy List
wakachiwaka wakachiwaka is a male
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Hey, I'm not as think as you stoned I am.
01-29-2009 17:26 wakachiwaka is online Search for Posts by wakachiwaka Add wakachiwaka to your Buddy List
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