Berger Roy Al
Swirling Eddies
Registration Date: 02-14-2003
Posts: 1,286
Location: I AM NOT insane!
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Did you people know that Berger has nerver been married? I would like to be.
But when I look in the mirror, I'm a little concernered.
I'm 43 years old, 40 pounds overweight, and nearly completely bald. Over the years, I've developed a severe over-bite while at the same time, somehow, developing an exactly equally severe under-bite.
I recently tripped and fell into a nest of chiggers, so I have red welts all over my face. I fell off a bridge face-first and chipped all my front teeth. I'm given to fits of sudden lockjaw and gasping for air.
I've developed a minor hunchback, lower back pain, gouty arthritis of the knee, rickets, shingles, "sweet potato arm," strained hemicula, limbago of the limbago, swollen medulla oblongato, hoof in mouth, mogo-on-the-go-go, and other tropical diseases.
I'm an unemployed bass player, I live in a trailor, I'm prone to barking fits and an undeniable urge to do a specific series of jumping jacks in public, I suffer from spontaneous night-time grunting, flourescent light fainting, paranoic fear of cold mountain air, chronic tree sadness, and periodic, systematic stoplight embarrassment syndrome.
Do you think anyone would still go out with me?
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For the last time, I am NOT insane! gggxk
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07-10-2003 11:17 |
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JR88 
Disjasked Lerna
Registration Date: 05-01-2003
Posts: 4,896
Location: The Earth Household.
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07-10-2003 11:21 |
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Bones McCoy
Esculent Eskimo
Registration Date: 10-07-2002
Posts: 47
Location: Space.... The Final Frontier. That and the Carman Website.
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Get your pathetic self off the floor and get out there! Just because you're only good enough to play four strings instead of six shouldn't stop you from scoring! I know a bevy of salt babes that'd line UP for something like you!
One thing, though: Change your name. What kind of stupid-ass name is Berger, blast it?
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BLAST you DAmbers!!!
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07-10-2003 11:22 |
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Berger Roy Al
Swirling Eddies
Registration Date: 02-14-2003
Posts: 1,286
Location: I AM NOT insane!
Thread Starter 
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How about "Burger?"
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For the last time, I am NOT insane! gggxk
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07-10-2003 11:24 |
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DAmb you bones quit insulting people who are better than you
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That's Yummy
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07-10-2003 11:25 |
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mindgasket
A Hot Wolly
Registration Date: 06-18-2003
Posts: 420
Location: Just because we're hypnotized that don't mean we can't dance!
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I know of this hot chick that lives in a leper colony... maybe I could hook you up?
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07-10-2003 11:30 |
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mindgasket
A Hot Wolly
Registration Date: 06-18-2003
Posts: 420
Location: Just because we're hypnotized that don't mean we can't dance!
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...actually, she's about 3/4 of a hot chick...
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07-10-2003 11:31 |
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Squidzit
Platyhelminth
Registration Date: 05-14-2003
Posts: 6,235
Location: Be the change you wish to see in the world
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You now where there's a leper colony?
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"Why a four year old child could understand this...
run out and get me a four year old child, I can't make heads or tails of it."
~Groucho~
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07-10-2003 11:31 |
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Bones McCoy
Esculent Eskimo
Registration Date: 10-07-2002
Posts: 47
Location: Space.... The Final Frontier. That and the Carman Website.
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| Jim, you monomaniacal megamating moron! |
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Who said I was better than Berger? I just hate it when good people put themselves down! It leaves less work for me!
Besides, I've seen those asinine Priceline commercials of yours, and you shouldn't be let near a ONE-string guitar, blast it!!!
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BLAST you DAmbers!!!
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07-10-2003 11:33 |
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mindgasket
A Hot Wolly
Registration Date: 06-18-2003
Posts: 420
Location: Just because we're hypnotized that don't mean we can't dance!
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[QUOTE But when I look in the mirror, I'm a little concernered.
Do you think anyone would still go out with me?
[/QUOTE]
Hey, the Minnesota BBQ group will have as a door prize a date with Berger!!
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07-10-2003 11:38 |
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Squidzit
Platyhelminth
Registration Date: 05-14-2003
Posts: 6,235
Location: Be the change you wish to see in the world
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Then I ain't goin'. 
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"Why a four year old child could understand this...
run out and get me a four year old child, I can't make heads or tails of it."
~Groucho~
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07-10-2003 11:39 |
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ProdigalDog
Unsullied Affiche
Registration Date: 05-20-2003
Posts: 26
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What kind of life insurance do you have, berger? That's what the ladies are most interested in.
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07-10-2003 11:54 |
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dennis
Ubique Epoque
Registration Date: 09-19-2002
Posts: 13,303
Location: In not-quite earth, in not-quite heaven.
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| quote: |
Originally posted by Berger Roy Al
Did you people know that Berger has nerver been married? Berger would like to be.
But when I look in the mirror, I'm a little concernered.
I'm 43 years old, 40 pounds overweight, and nearly completely bald. Over the years, I've developed a severe over-bite while at the same time, somehow, developing an exactly equally severe under-bite.
I recently tripped and fell into a nest of chiggers, so I have red welts all over my face. I fell off a bridge face-first and chipped all my front teeth. I'm given to fits of sudden lockjaw and gasping for air.
I've developed a minor hunchback, lower back pain, gouty arthritis of the knee, rickets, shingles, "sweet potato arm," strained hemicula, limbago of the limbago, swollen medulla oblongato, hoof in mouth, mogo-on-the-go-go, and other tropical diseases.
I'm an unemployed bass player, I live in a trailor, I'm prone to barking fits and an undeniable urge to do a specific series of jumping jacks in public, I suffer from spontaneous night-time grunting, flourescent light fainting, paranoic fear of cold mountain air, chronic tree sadness, and periodic, systematic stoplight embarrassment syndrome.
Do you think anyone would still go out with me?
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Amy Grant???
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I'm talkin' bout the Vinyl , the Holy Vinyl.
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07-10-2003 11:55 |
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dennis
Ubique Epoque
Registration Date: 09-19-2002
Posts: 13,303
Location: In not-quite earth, in not-quite heaven.
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| quote: |
Originally posted by Bones McCoy
Get your pathetic self off the floor and get out there! Just because you're only good enough to play four strings instead of six shouldn't stop you from scoring! I know a bevy of salt babes that'd line UP for something like you!
One thing, though: Change your name. What kind of stupid-ass name is Berger, blast it?
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wow. harsh words!
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I'm talkin' bout the Vinyl , the Holy Vinyl.
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07-10-2003 11:58 |
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jiminy
Tallowy Tamale
Registration Date: 11-16-2002
Posts: 9,494
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lay out the portfolio, Al
that draws em in like stink on..
well- you know, (you failed to mention Scatology in your synopsis)
don't they mention MN in that 'Wish they all could be Caledonia Girls?" song?
Try it- you'll like it.
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jiMinY
theres nothing to EVER put here that will please everyone-let alone anyone.
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07-10-2003 12:00 |
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Woggy
Platyhelminth
Registration Date: 03-13-2002
Posts: 6,079
Location: "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." ~~ Albert Einstein
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he sounds like my kinda guy.......
I'd go out with him.
Oh, let's talk about that insurance and portfolio first, mmmmkay?
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1 John 2:6
Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.
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07-10-2003 12:19 |
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| quote: |
Originally posted by Bones McCoy
Who said I was better than Berger? I just hate it when good people put themselves down! It leaves less work for me!
Besides, I've seen those asinine Priceline commercials of yours, and you shouldn't be let near a ONE-string guitar, blast it!!!
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You should really go to Priceline.com..........they pay me lots a money to say that. 
what are you doing??? Loser
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That's Yummy
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07-10-2003 13:04 |
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zippetydoodaddy
Woolly Eggwhisk
Registration Date: 01-29-2003
Posts: 610
Location: Lust is the craving for salt of a man who is dying of thirst. - F.B.
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Originally posted by mindgasket
Hey, the Minnesota BBQ group will have as a door prize a date with Berger!!
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CURSES!!
Trumped again!!
We'll just see about that!
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Welcome Happy Campers to Camp CAACONAA! Turning the hearts of fathers back to their children.
August 2005
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07-10-2003 13:14 |
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zippetydoodaddy
Woolly Eggwhisk
Registration Date: 01-29-2003
Posts: 610
Location: Lust is the craving for salt of a man who is dying of thirst. - F.B.
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<--------
Wow, I'm a Llama!
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Welcome Happy Campers to Camp CAACONAA! Turning the hearts of fathers back to their children.
August 2005
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07-10-2003 13:17 |
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JR88
Disjasked Lerna
Registration Date: 05-01-2003
Posts: 4,896
Location: The Earth Household.
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Zippy the Llama
congrats
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07-10-2003 13:19 |
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